he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
