yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
