I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
