Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
