Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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