i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Why is your signature on my underwear?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
In other news, I just burned my penis
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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