So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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