I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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