Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
