If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
