I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
