never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
