Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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