if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
When did angry sex become our thing?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
