I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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