I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
