she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
