Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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