i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
