Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
