barbara walters just said penis...
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
