Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
