Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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