i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
