Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
