just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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