Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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