Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
