You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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