Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
