there was a trapeze. enough said
the day after is always just damage control
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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