i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
