we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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