Is it normal to miss your booty call?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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