So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
