listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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