Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
