what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
