after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
