I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
