and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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