u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
