Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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