dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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