My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
