I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
