I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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