I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
My penis needs a shock collar
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
