I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
