We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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