I hate all girls vehemently.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
