that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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