Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Your cock deserves a montage
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
