You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
