is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
