It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
